Refusing Donations?

Just when we were beginning to think that the stereotype of promiscuity in the gay community had been dealt with, Health Canada decides to give some more weight to the issue. A new regulation prevents sexually active gay men from donating their organs because of a higher risk of sexually transmitted diseases. A sexually active gay man, by the way, is defined as having engaged in anal sex anytime over the last FIVE years. Maybe I'm crazy but I wouldn't consider someone who hadn't had sex in five years as sexually active. I can appreciate that some diseases are dormant for awhile before showing up in blood tests, but I've never heard of one that sleeps for five years! What about sexually promiscuous straight people? There are plenty of them. Why not go one step further and say anyone who has had sex in the last five years can't donate their organs? The decision whether or not to accept the donation will come down to an interview with the family. If the family reveals that the donor was 'sexually active', the donation will not be accepted. I would be deeply offended, particularly if I were in a monogamous relationship if my donation were not accepted. Or I guess I wouldn't since I wouldn't be around to hear about it. Some estimate that this new regulation will cause as much as a 7% fall in organ donation. I'd really like to hunt down the actual justification for this policy...

PS- For those of you who are not gay men, please sign your donor cards!

Canadian "Regionalism"

As movies like Crash and Brokeback Mountain accept their awards, and the world claps, commending their daring approach to risque topics, I sit at home and I fume. My parents raised me to be not only accepting of other cultures, but to embrace them... I'm sure only feeding my desire to travel and explore. I like to think that I am someone with relatively few prejudices. Of course, we probably all do. Yet stereotypes surround us all the same, and unfortunately, they exist for a reason. Women my age represent the first generation to spawn from the sexual revolution of the 70's. We are the first generation who looked up to our mothers and truly appreciated the tremendous amount of work they do, regardless of whether or not they were 'stay at home moms'. We are a generation that has grown up knowing and believing that our gender does not limit us to three career choices (housewife, teacher or nurse). All the same, things change faster on paper than they do in our minds. In my junior high school, boys and girls were separated for gym. The boys played football, while the girls arm wrestled. Myself, I was more interested in football. My high school didn't have a girl's soccer team, because, according to our Phys Ed department "Girls don't play soccer". They refused to start a team, even when approached by half of my soccer team, who all attended the school. I guess we're still working out the kinks. But at the same time, the stereotype of weak women comes from somewhere. It comes from the girls who giggle and say they couldn't imagine playing soccer because they'd be seen sweating. It comes from the girls who seem to be born in high heels and go for weekly manicures, leaving the rest of us to wonder how their nails stay so perfectly intact. Try as I might, my nails will break and chip with or without the manicure. And of the three or four times a year I may be caught wearing heels (usually at weddings, thanks to all you newly weds that force me into them- I hope you're happy!), you'll notice that they are quickly discarded under the table and abandoned for the rest of the evening. Maybe I'm just not strong enough to be a girly girl. But then I suppose if my parents had raised me to believe that girls were meant to be in the kitchen and not playing soccer, I may have had some serious questions about gender. Are these stereotypes the reason that some girls say they've always felt like a boy, and vice-versa? I think so. We have come to recognize a boy who plays with dolls as a warning sign of an impending sex change. Athletic girls are quickly labelled lesbians, eroticized, and the world smiles and moves on.

I use gender stereotypes as an example because I have simply never experienced racism. I've had a couple instances since arriving in Korea where I've had trouble getting taxis because I'm white, but I think it had more to do with drivers being lazy and not wanting to have to decipher my horrible broken Korean. But I can't really classify that as racism. But when it comes to prejudice, we have become hyper-sensitive. Our generation has seen the fall of terms like waitress, stewardess, Madamoiselle, chairman and fireman from our vocabulary. Eskimo has become Inuit. Indian (accept for real Indians... from India) have become Native. Black has become African American (or Canadian, I suppose). I think it's fantastic. Except for the extreme PC- I was against the Bible being edited so that every reference to God read as He/She. I was against the lyrics of the national anthem being changed to "In all thy sons & daughters command". Enough's enough, people. But why are some types of prejudice incredibly taboo, yet others are perfectly acceptable to scream from the rooftops?

I was at a housewarming party in middle of nowhere Korea (which here means an hour bus ride from the subway) last week-end, and I left fuming mad. I've always had a confused Canadian identity. Born in Montreal, raised in Alberta, sent to French Immersion and Francophone schools throughout my education. Immersed in Quebec culture in the school environment, and then tossed out into the realities of a culture-free Albertan society. Despite living in Alberta, my winters always included a good 'tire a sucre' and a mini Carnival, complete with Bonhomme. In grade ten, I was violently shoved into English school. I couldn't understand anything math or science related. All the terms were new to me. I realized that I had never in my life been taught English grammar, and to this day when someone says third person, I think Je- Tu- Il. I failed math exams because I used a virgule (umm, comma?) when answering questions relating to money. I put the dollar sign after the price. And still do. I write the date backwards in English. All of these revealing my French education, which in Alberta, was greeted with nothing but contempt, particularly since I was born in Quebec. I was constantly referred to as French, even according to the Alberta government- who claims that you're Francophone if you've spent two or more years in a Francophone school. Not that it's a negative to be called French, but it helped a lot in keeping me throughly confused about my Canadian identity. And I got grief from people because I was 'one of those seperatists'. As if my first thought upon arriving in Alberta at the age of two was "Maudit Anglais!" So I get fed-up with Alberta's lack of culture and refusal to open their eyes to anything beyond beef and oil and I move to Quebec. All of a sudden, I'm even more confused. "Are you Quebecoise?" Hmm... well, um.... no. "But how do speak French? Oh... you're from Alberta.... hmmm... (ackward pause) Well, you speak French well." In case, so I'm at this party. And the guy who's house it is, is proving himself to be your typical redneck neanderthal. He's from middle of nowhere, Northern BC, but had spent the last four years living in Calgary. And I have to admit that I have serious questions about anyone who moves to Calgary to have a cultural experience. In any case, the Koreans that were at the party were excited that I spoke French, and they asked to hear a little. And so I spoke a sentence or two in French, and they were super excited to hear something other than English or Korean. And from the other side of the room, I hear a snarky redneck voice declare "Quebeckers are nothing but a bunch of pussies." And the room paused. And I lay into him. I suppose one could argue that I'm from Alberta, so the comment wasn't directed at me, but in point of fact, it most certainly was. This is the boy who knew so little about Quebec that he was unaware that McGill was in Montreal. And he began to list off stats in an attempt to prove that Quebec is nothing more than a drain on the Canadian economy. And as we all know, anyone who has visited Quebec knows that there is a culture there that's worth keeping. The Koreans had left as the argument became more and more heated. I suppose it wasn't so much an argument as me accusing him of ignorant rednecked ideas. It was down to just the Canadians. And BC boy was left alone with one Quebecoise/Albertan and four Newfoundlanders... representing the two most marginalized provinces in the country. And as I left- fuming mad and determined never to see such an ignorant person again, I wondered why it was so acceptable for people from different regions of the country to hold prejudices against those from other regions. Why is it still okay to trash Quebec and mock the 'dumb Newfies'? And why is the West always attacking the East? The Canadian couple I work with are from Jasper. And when they arrived, I had a similar argument with the boy, Reg. The argument about separatism was so ridiculous, that he in fact made me side with the separatists. And over the next week, his argument evolved into the belief that it was not fair that I was more employable because I spoke French. Not fair? Are we five years old? Not fair that I worked for years to learn and maintain a second language? Not fair that he didn't get a free ride? What, exactly, was not fair? Without Quebec and Newfoundland, I think Canadian culture would be a pretty sad state of affairs. Montrealers will openly say that they don't like Toronto- but it seems to come from a place of slight envy. Toronto is like the older more responsible brother who stayed home on school nights and worked hard to get where he is. Made sacrifices that allowed Toronto to lose some of its Canadian Content and become more Americanized. Montreal is the younger, irresponsible brother who drinks too much, indulges in drugs, has too much sex and says 'screw the final, I'm going drinking!' And which brother would you rather be? But I don't think I have ever a full out attack on Toronto by a Montrealer, or vice versa. The problems, as far as I can see, seem to stem from the West. What does this say of our country? Our sense of national pride? Is this why there is no Canadian identity? In saying that we're Canadian, are we really just specifying that we are not American? What does it mean to be Canadian? Are there any sort of values that extend from one end of the country to the other? My generation has and will travel all over the world. We will spend years of our lives examining other cultures, without even understanding our own. How many Canadians have really experienced Canada? We have quite possibly one of the most beautiful countries on earth. Our sheer size insures it. Why are we so quick to hop on a plane and take off to exotic European or Asian destinations, without ever having seen the Rocky Mountains? What is wrong with Canadians?

A.I. (Asian Intelligence)

And so with this week, my third month in Korea came to a close and I begin my fourth, leaving only nine months to experience all that I hoped to from this extremely different culture. It occurred to me this week that it has definitely gotten to the point that I would say I am comfortable in Seoul. Perhaps frighteningly so. The smell of fish at 9am is no longer nauseating, just familiar. Street side vendors pandering fish- split open with all their insides hanging out, no longer shocking. The stench of snail larvae - okay, that's still really gross. The smell of soju (Korean potato vodka) surrounding me as I ride the subway to school has simply become apart of my day. I've stopped noticing people staring at me- or at least, for the most part. I've learned a sufficient amount of Korean words to get by- being able to make out the characters being a huge advantage here. After three months of mocking Korean dependence on cell phones- I realized I've become just as bad. I caught myself taking my cell phone from my gym locker and leaving it on a table in the middle of the gym so I'd hear it. This is very Korean, and I was shocked and disgusted with myself. I take my shoes off a hundred times a day, and think nothing of it anymore. I don't beckon cabs with an upward palm, as this is considered rude. I give money with two hands, and take my change back with my right hand, my left hand supporting my right wrist. This is a polite give and receive exchange. I wait for the oldest person at the table to pour my beer- and hesitate when they don't as it's impolite to pour your own. When I try to explain myself to store clerks, even though I know the Korean word for no, I've started doing like the kids and making an X with my arms and saying "No". I don't know why, but they all do it- and it seems I've picked it up. I think matters would be made much easier if I just said "Annio."

This week at school was short- and difficult. After some disagreement with my boss as to whether or not I needed health insurance (it's in my contract, but he was trying to cheap out and convince me that I didn't need) - the other teachers proved him wrong for me. Three of our teachers missed at least a day of school this week, after my boss insisted that no one ever gets sick here. Apparently he takes me for a complete idiot. In any case, I got my way and now have my insurance and all this fighting and procrastination was over 100$ Canadian. Is it just me, or does it seem completely ridiculous to anyone else to risk potentially huge health care bills to save yourself 100$? My boss has proved himself both cheap and illogical, just the way I like 'em. It is interesting to note that my boss has also informed me that I don't need air conditioning for the apartment... which is exactly what he told the teacher I replaced who had the unfortunate experience of spending the entire summer in his underwear cursing our cheap ass boss. Apparently he's not familiar with the climate of Montreal, as he informed me that humidity doesn't make that much of a difference in temperature and I should be okay because I'm only on the second floor. And so ends my battle for health insurance, and so begins my battle for air conditioning.

I should perhaps take this opportunity to clarify. My job is alright- I love the kids, the hours are a little long- but being in Korea, I can't really complain since many people work six days a week and stay at work until 10 or 11pm. In comparison, I've got it pretty good. I get paid what I'm owed and my boss has been good with providing me with advances if I so need. However, it appears that a big part of Korean business is testing to see what you can get away with. When I asked for a new apartment, it was provided. When I asked for health insurance- after a brief argument, it was provided. And here's hoping that I can push this a little further and find myself in a coolly conditioned apartment this summer. Yet my boss makes these lame attempts at saving himself money in the hopes that this silly, single white girl from Canada will be too shy to call him on it. And oh, was he wrong. I think for the remainder of my time in Korea, I will insist on being called "The Princess", since that's how I'm feeling after making all these demands...

On that note, I came to the startling realization this week that my boss, with his enormous football head and tiny 'Chula man' (stick man) body- is the spitting image of Stewie Griffin (Family Guy) when he pictures himself as an adult. Unfortunately every time I see him now, this is the image that comes to mind, and I just can't keep from laughing... Interesting side note- Chula man (Stick man) is a Korean superhero from a video games- a character based, maybe- just maybe, on my tiny boss?

And lastly- one thought/observation that I've had this week. We see stereotypes all around us - and in Canada we've been exposed to as many stereotypes as we have cultures. In recent years, stereotypes have come to be acknowledged as racist, and obviously, to some extent, I agree. But at the same time, these stereotypes came about for a reason- they came about because for better or for worse, these are the characteristics, the oddities- that most stuck out to those outside these communities. We create our own realities. In communities with negative stereotypes, they grow out of impossible situations. If you grow up in an environment where there are no expectations for even the possibility of success, is it so difficult to see how people take a wrong turn? The stereotype of the Jewish people with money dates back hundreds of years to actual events. The European economies suddenly required a system of borrowing and lending money, but in those days, the Church forbade Christians from profiting from the lending of money. But there was nothing in the Jewish faith preventing them from lending money, and so Jewish people were encouraged to loan money and profit from the interest. And so was born the stereotype of the Jewish people and their money. Coming from an Irish/English/Scottish/French/Albertan/Quebecois background, I guess I'm just a drunken Catholic (Irish), uptight (English), red haired haggis-eating (Scottish), snotty baguette chomping (French), red necked (Albertan) Canada-hating separatist (Quebec). Perhaps some of this is true- I'll give you baguette chomping, but take back the redneck and Canada hating- and my hair is far, far from red... And I try very hard to suppress the uptight Brit, I hope I've been successful. I don't call myself Catholic, but there was a certain event involving oil on my forehead when I was eleven years old, and the Church claims they've got dibs on me for life. In any event, there has long been talk of how smart those Asians are. Back when I dated a certain half-Japanese boy who will go unnamed for no particular reason but to protect his poor identity (and to keep those who remember this particular relationship from firing up with the rumors and such, from oh so long ago) I was amazed with how many people responded to the news of my new multi-cultural relationship saying "Wow, he's Japanese- he must be so smart." (Pause for the laughter from the IMAX crowd) And then, three and a half years ago, I had a similar experience when I started dating Fred. How many people have said "Wow, your boyfriend's Indian? Is he an engineer?" I look at the kids I teach- as they rush out the door of my class to catch the school bus that will whisk them off to their next school- and I wonder- in the end, as adults- are they all that different from Canadians? As I talk to my Korean co-workers, I'm not struck with a feeling of intellectual inferiority, I don't feel that they've been better educated. I lost two of my kids from my kindergarten classes this week- one to another school, and the second because he's become too tired to attend class. At five years old, I have kids dropping out because of burn-out. This is something that is not seen in Canada. I have vague memories of spending my kindergarten days playing in sand boxes and swimming in the school's pool. Not being forced to practice my ABC's and perform lame science experiments. My Korean co-workers admit that grade school in Korea is tough- the days and weeks are long, and high school finishes at the age of 20, so even the years drag on. But University, they claim unanimously, is a joke. For three months, I've sat back and observed the culture and the people and the truth of it is - there are just as many smart kids in Korean schools as there are in Canada, and just as many kids who have trouble in school as in Canada. The difference, perhaps- in the success and failures- is perhaps in our views. We create our reality. In Canada, we quickly label any student who doesn't want to listen as ADD. Not bored, not uninterested, but ADD. He has a condition, he needs to be medicated. A child who fails a class is called any number of names. Are labels getting in the way of success in school? Koreans have never heard of ADD. They push the kids who have trouble just as hard as the kids who don't. They acknowledge intelligence, but refuse to acknowledge stupidity. Crazy is a swear word in Korean. In any case, the Asian stereotype of intelligence has been on my mind lately- and the only thing that stands out to me as an incredible show of intelligence is how easily an entire race of people (or rather several races- we have this same stereotype for Chinese, Japanese, Koreans and Indians) managed to create their own stereotype by refusing to acknowledge that there exists a weak link within their communities. They've tricked us all simply by refusing to acknowledge that there are some kids who have trouble learning. Their education is dragged out, almost for show, it seems. I'd like to think that my experience here is proving that Canadians are just as smart as Koreans and that the intelligence stereotype is just that- a stereotype. But I have to admit that it is an incredible show of intelligence, to convince the world that you are the smartest people on earth, and have the world believe it. Why didn't we think of that first???