I've had alot of bad roomates. Are we all in agreement here? That I've made some questionable roomate choices? From sleazy ex-boyfriends, to anal gay men (Greg & Gerald), to sleazy actors (Rageful Scott), to fourteen year old high school drop-outs (thanks to sleazy ex-boyfriend), to boyfriends of close friends (Syd) to co-workers I already spend all my time with (Caycee, Greg, Stuart, Rob...), to crazy directors that stalk and threaten to sue me to crazy directors that live in the same building as psychotic ex-girlfriends (Ross)... to name a few. Well, arriving in Korea I was introduced to the absolute worst roomates I've ever had - an apartment full of cockroaches. And so the movers arrived on boxing day to rescue me from my impossible roomates. At least my other bad roomates cooked for me- or were otherwise entertaining- keeping me awake at all hours of the night shaking the house, or yelling at doorknobs, or some such nonsense. During my move to my new apartment- or heaven, as I shall call it from here on in- I learned a very important, very valuable lesson about Korean culture. Korean men will always tell a woman that they understand even when they don't. Some may say this is not so different from Canadian men, well I beg to differ. After two months of telling my boss that I could not live in my apartment because of the cockroaches and having him nodding at me, (complete with blank stare in his eyes) and repeating "hmmm, yes I understand," I discovered that he did not, in fact, understand. To begin with, the movers watched, appalled, as I carried boxes and bags to the truck while they were busy with the furniture (Korean women are not supposed to lift things since they're so delicate and 'weak'), and I watched, appalled, as my boss attempted to help with the furniture, but shook under the weight of anything he lifted. In any case, they moved the fridge from the apartment- my boss shaking more than the sixty year old mover, and god knows I couldn't help (being weak and all) - so I watched- trying not to laugh, as three grown men, determined not to ask for my help- stuggled to lift the fridge into the truck. Behind the fridge, I discovered the home of my roomates, the cockroaches. There were many, may cockroaches where the fridge had been, and my first impulse was to crush them (I am crushing your head!! Crush, crush, crush, crush...)- but then I thought, no, I want my boss to understand why I was insisting on a new apartment, so that he sees that I'm not just a spoiled princess. So for a moment, I spared the lives of my tiny roomates and waited for my boss to emerge, sweating and shaking from his last journey to the truck. He walked into the apartment -and I can say I have never seen such a look of disgust in my life. He stood at the doorway pointing at them, and staring at me in disbelief. I nodded and said "Cockroaches," at which point realizing that through all my talks with him about the state of the apartment, my boss had never once asked what a cockroach was or implied he did know. He had simply nodded and said "hmm, yes, I understand," - which clearly, he did not. After going on a murderous rampage, leaving my roomates scattered about the apartment- my boss whisked me away to the new apartment... ahhh, heaven.
And so I've spent much of this week cleaning and organizing the new apartment and don't have a whole lot to report from the outside world. Christmas day I spent with my friends Glen and Michelle- who cooked an excellent Christmas dinner, especially given the fact that English teachers here are rarely provided with ovens, so we have only stove tops. Somehow Michelle managed- with two burners, to boil a chicken (which I didn't know you could do) - make potatoes, turnips, carrots and stuffing. I was impressed- it tasted just like home. And then we watched bad American TV- and I have an unfortunate confession to make- I am addicted to the On Style network. Of my four channels, it is the only one that does not subject me to American political propaganda or bad Schwartzeneger (how the hell do you spell that???) films- which I guess can also fall into the political propaganda category now. Sex and the City from Season One, right on through to the end, America's Next Top Model (totally addicted) and the Bachelorette - oh dear god, someone help me!! Out of exhaustion and complete boredom, I'm resorting to reality TV!!!
And my vacation has also included a few trips to the gym - although far less than I would have liked. Having spent more than three days cleaning my new apartment, I decided to forego the gym this week and have only been twice. And did I ever learn my lesson. I was out and about the other day- I went on a tour of a prison used during the Japanese invasion (cost -1,50$ - complete with personal tour guide). After this two hour history lesson, I needed to lull my brain- and so I headed to the gym. Now the only quick place to eat near the gym where you can actually sit down, and not eat standing at the counter is McDonalds'. And of course, I am aware that it is fairly redundant to eat McDonalds' before going to the gym. But I did anyway. And then found my way to the internet place a few floors below the gym to rest my stomach before my work-out. For some odd reason, this ten floor office building, with restaurants, bars, daycares and a school on each floor- has only one elevator. It is a mystery I cannot explain. So I waited ten minutes for the elevator to go from the fourth to the tenth floor (where else would the gym be, but the top floor)- and when it finally came, the doors opened and it looked like the subway at any time of day. People were pushed up against the walls, packed in so tightly, I wondered how any of them would leave knowing that the arms attached to their torso were in fact their own. But there was a small space at the front of the elevator and I squeezed my way in. And just as I stepped into the elevator- a loud beeping noise, almost like a siren- thundered through the elevator and the fourth floor hallway- and on came a message in Korean- I assumed, telling the fatty who'd put the elevator overweight, to please step out before the whole thing went crashing down to the basement. And with a look of horror on my face, I stepped out of the elevator and back into the hallway. Whether it was the look of shock and horror on my face, or the elevator calling the white girl fat- the hundred or so Koreans in the elevator, erupted in laughter as the door snapped shut in my face. And I took the stairs up to the gym, determined that this was God's way of laughing at me (or punishing me) for eating at McDonald's before going to the gym.
Some of you may remember my rant from a few weeks back about being 'old' in Korea- well, now we know that Korea's also calling me fat. So there we go- this trip that I've taken across the world, in hopes of returning with eyes open to another culture and another way of life- is using this opportunity to insult me again and again. Tonight is New Year's Eve- and aside from that meaning that there will much alcohol ingested throughout the world- it also means that I am quickly approaching my 27th Birthday, as far as Koreans are concerned... for those of you who believe my birthday to be August 25th- you'll be happy to know that for your convenience, a second birthday has been added on January 29th - Lunar New Year.
And in other news- the Korean telephone company is far more efficient than any Canadian company. My telephone number has remained the same as in my old apartment. It should also be noted that my boss called for the line to be disconnected while we were moving from one apartment to the other- and the man from the phone company arrived at the new apartment to set up the phone before all the furniture was loaded into the apartment. Less than half an hour & on Boxing Day at that! And finally, I have posted more photos on my flickr site, so you can follow the link to see the new ones... The theme is Korean Oddities...
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