The Devil in McDonald's

I've had alot of bad roomates. Are we all in agreement here? That I've made some questionable roomate choices? From sleazy ex-boyfriends, to anal gay men (Greg & Gerald), to sleazy actors (Rageful Scott), to fourteen year old high school drop-outs (thanks to sleazy ex-boyfriend), to boyfriends of close friends (Syd) to co-workers I already spend all my time with (Caycee, Greg, Stuart, Rob...), to crazy directors that stalk and threaten to sue me to crazy directors that live in the same building as psychotic ex-girlfriends (Ross)... to name a few. Well, arriving in Korea I was introduced to the absolute worst roomates I've ever had - an apartment full of cockroaches. And so the movers arrived on boxing day to rescue me from my impossible roomates. At least my other bad roomates cooked for me- or were otherwise entertaining- keeping me awake at all hours of the night shaking the house, or yelling at doorknobs, or some such nonsense. During my move to my new apartment- or heaven, as I shall call it from here on in- I learned a very important, very valuable lesson about Korean culture. Korean men will always tell a woman that they understand even when they don't. Some may say this is not so different from Canadian men, well I beg to differ. After two months of telling my boss that I could not live in my apartment because of the cockroaches and having him nodding at me, (complete with blank stare in his eyes) and repeating "hmmm, yes I understand," I discovered that he did not, in fact, understand. To begin with, the movers watched, appalled, as I carried boxes and bags to the truck while they were busy with the furniture (Korean women are not supposed to lift things since they're so delicate and 'weak'), and I watched, appalled, as my boss attempted to help with the furniture, but shook under the weight of anything he lifted. In any case, they moved the fridge from the apartment- my boss shaking more than the sixty year old mover, and god knows I couldn't help (being weak and all) - so I watched- trying not to laugh, as three grown men, determined not to ask for my help- stuggled to lift the fridge into the truck. Behind the fridge, I discovered the home of my roomates, the cockroaches. There were many, may cockroaches where the fridge had been, and my first impulse was to crush them (I am crushing your head!! Crush, crush, crush, crush...)- but then I thought, no, I want my boss to understand why I was insisting on a new apartment, so that he sees that I'm not just a spoiled princess. So for a moment, I spared the lives of my tiny roomates and waited for my boss to emerge, sweating and shaking from his last journey to the truck. He walked into the apartment -and I can say I have never seen such a look of disgust in my life. He stood at the doorway pointing at them, and staring at me in disbelief. I nodded and said "Cockroaches," at which point realizing that through all my talks with him about the state of the apartment, my boss had never once asked what a cockroach was or implied he did know. He had simply nodded and said "hmm, yes, I understand," - which clearly, he did not. After going on a murderous rampage, leaving my roomates scattered about the apartment- my boss whisked me away to the new apartment... ahhh, heaven.

And so I've spent much of this week cleaning and organizing the new apartment and don't have a whole lot to report from the outside world. Christmas day I spent with my friends Glen and Michelle- who cooked an excellent Christmas dinner, especially given the fact that English teachers here are rarely provided with ovens, so we have only stove tops. Somehow Michelle managed- with two burners, to boil a chicken (which I didn't know you could do) - make potatoes, turnips, carrots and stuffing. I was impressed- it tasted just like home. And then we watched bad American TV- and I have an unfortunate confession to make- I am addicted to the On Style network. Of my four channels, it is the only one that does not subject me to American political propaganda or bad Schwartzeneger (how the hell do you spell that???) films- which I guess can also fall into the political propaganda category now. Sex and the City from Season One, right on through to the end, America's Next Top Model (totally addicted) and the Bachelorette - oh dear god, someone help me!! Out of exhaustion and complete boredom, I'm resorting to reality TV!!!

And my vacation has also included a few trips to the gym - although far less than I would have liked. Having spent more than three days cleaning my new apartment, I decided to forego the gym this week and have only been twice. And did I ever learn my lesson. I was out and about the other day- I went on a tour of a prison used during the Japanese invasion (cost -1,50$ - complete with personal tour guide). After this two hour history lesson, I needed to lull my brain- and so I headed to the gym. Now the only quick place to eat near the gym where you can actually sit down, and not eat standing at the counter is McDonalds'. And of course, I am aware that it is fairly redundant to eat McDonalds' before going to the gym. But I did anyway. And then found my way to the internet place a few floors below the gym to rest my stomach before my work-out. For some odd reason, this ten floor office building, with restaurants, bars, daycares and a school on each floor- has only one elevator. It is a mystery I cannot explain. So I waited ten minutes for the elevator to go from the fourth to the tenth floor (where else would the gym be, but the top floor)- and when it finally came, the doors opened and it looked like the subway at any time of day. People were pushed up against the walls, packed in so tightly, I wondered how any of them would leave knowing that the arms attached to their torso were in fact their own. But there was a small space at the front of the elevator and I squeezed my way in. And just as I stepped into the elevator- a loud beeping noise, almost like a siren- thundered through the elevator and the fourth floor hallway- and on came a message in Korean- I assumed, telling the fatty who'd put the elevator overweight, to please step out before the whole thing went crashing down to the basement. And with a look of horror on my face, I stepped out of the elevator and back into the hallway. Whether it was the look of shock and horror on my face, or the elevator calling the white girl fat- the hundred or so Koreans in the elevator, erupted in laughter as the door snapped shut in my face. And I took the stairs up to the gym, determined that this was God's way of laughing at me (or punishing me) for eating at McDonald's before going to the gym.

Some of you may remember my rant from a few weeks back about being 'old' in Korea- well, now we know that Korea's also calling me fat. So there we go- this trip that I've taken across the world, in hopes of returning with eyes open to another culture and another way of life- is using this opportunity to insult me again and again. Tonight is New Year's Eve- and aside from that meaning that there will much alcohol ingested throughout the world- it also means that I am quickly approaching my 27th Birthday, as far as Koreans are concerned... for those of you who believe my birthday to be August 25th- you'll be happy to know that for your convenience, a second birthday has been added on January 29th - Lunar New Year.

And in other news- the Korean telephone company is far more efficient than any Canadian company. My telephone number has remained the same as in my old apartment. It should also be noted that my boss called for the line to be disconnected while we were moving from one apartment to the other- and the man from the phone company arrived at the new apartment to set up the phone before all the furniture was loaded into the apartment. Less than half an hour & on Boxing Day at that! And finally, I have posted more photos on my flickr site, so you can follow the link to see the new ones... The theme is Korean Oddities...

Getting more comfortable..

• • Merry Christmas Everyone!

  • I hope this posting finds you amidst much snow and Christmas carols...

  • Although I am still having trouble believing it never snows in Korea (it has snowed three times since I've been here, and that- as far as I can see- is three times more than never)- I have to admit that it looks as though it will be a brown Christmas for us. Don't worry- it's still cold... well, -5, maybe not that cold. It's been strange to hear familiar Christmas carols sung with Korean lyrics- and an even stranger experience with the drunken Santa Claus we took the kids to see. Alright maybe not drunk- but I'm sure Santa was hung over sincehe refused to take off his sunglasses- and he was no healthy North American Santa Claus, let me tell you. Poor Santa was so skinny all the kids said they would have to leave him milk and cookies as he's lost too much weight since last year...

  • For Christmas, what am I doing? Well, to begin with I will be having a big Christmas dinner with some Canadian friends of mine, so fear not- I will not be alone- although this year it seems strangely appealing. The most exciting part of my Christmas vacation will be my move to a new apartment. Some of you sensed a bit of frustration in my emails- and I was trying not to give into it- but alas, I have been really cranky. The apartment I have lived in since I arrived is not one that I entered with a sigh of relief. I tentatively looked around and decided it would do- it was nothing fancy, but it wouldn't be the end of the world. And then I started to see cockroaches, and I thought- that's gross, but maybe it's normal here. So I checked with my Korean contacts at work and discovered that no, it was not normal and they all looked very disgusted and taken back. And then people who had seen the apartment before I moved started to look at me with pity in their eyes, asking how I was faring in the apartment... And then I saw the apartment that the couple lives in- and it was like night and day. Their apartment was big, fully furnished- new and clean. Mine was sparcely furnished, old and dirty. Holes in the walls are plugged with paper- which may explain how I still have moths in December. And I was mad, but didn't know how to raise the issue with my boss without sounding like a princess. Then my hot water stopped working, so I've been showering at the gym for over a month now. At any rate, two weeks into this apartment experience, I asked for a new apartment... and my boss didn't miss a beat. He said yes, of course and went about looking for a new one. Having said that, he would not have found one for me yet had I not insisted that I would not spend my Christmas vacation in my current apartment. So I'm appropriately moving on boxing day. The new apartment is ridiculous- I don't really understand- it's a 5 1/2 (two bedrooms for Calgarians) with a huge wrap around balcony and looks very new. I don't really understand since I barely have enough furniture in my current apartment, but here we are moving to a bigger place for little old me. That alright- I'm a big fan of big, empty spaces. So, that's the highlight of my Christmas- I suppose it pays to play the princess- next up on my list of demands- an air conditioner. In conclusion I apologize if I have sounded frustrated and cranky- all I've wanted is a hot shower in my very own bathroom...

  • What's new in Korea this week? Well, I've discovered that Christmas is not celebrated here the same way at all... it seems it's the exact opposite of Canada. Koreans don't spend Christmas with their families at home around a big dinner, they go out with friends to the movies and to restaurants. So apparently I don't have to worry about nothing being open. Malls in the big shopping districts stay open for Christmas as well- and apparently many people do attend midnight mass. Christmas is also a lot less commercial here, which is refreshing. It struck me the other day how much we take for granted in Canada- how much of our own culture we don't appreciate. As I sat with the other Canadian teachers watching the kids playing on our fieldtrip the other day- all the kids from the other schools would stop and stare at us. The three of us and a tall black teacher from another school seemed to be the highlight of their fieldtrip. And it made me wonder, do we really appreciate our diversity as Canadians? When I think of the looks of curiosity, of terror and of excitement that I've gotten over the last two months- do we ever consider how unique it is that anyone can step into a big Canadian city and look Canadian? Another thing that sets Canada apart- which is slipping and we need to hold onto- are the social assistance programs. In Korea, they are non-existant. If you are old, sick or disabled, your family is expected to care for you- and if they don't, you take to begging on the subway or on the street. I started crying on the subway last week as I watched a young blind man having difficulty making it down the aisle on the subway, as his feet were turned inwards- begging, and sure to bow to each person who put change in his hat. It was so sad. You see these elderly women- and I mean pushing 85-90, still working- selling vegetables in the market and walking at a 90 degree angle... These extremes are rarely seen in Canada, but here they are the norm- I hope that in light of all our government saving, money hungry ventures, we don't lose sight of the fact that this can become a reality in Canada overnight.... what would happen if our friend Ralph Klein ran the country? Hmmm, I think I have an idea... On a happier note- I was getting off the subway the other day and there was a man playing the sax to a huge group of Koreans gathered around him. People had pulled up chairs and were intently listening. As I walked by, I realized that I had not seen any musicians in the subway until now. And it struck me that this is another of those things that is common in Canada (or at least in Montreal), but people rarely stop to listen. We are in much too big of a hurry to get home- and the sax player will be there tomorrow, after all. As I become more and more comfortable and friendly with the girls at work, I am learning more about the Canadian image from outside the country. And it's interesting- although sometimes, a little depressing. One teacher asked me this week if Canadians liked sports. I was a little weirded out, and told her that Canadians loved hockey. She answered that from our showings in the Olympics and at World Cup Events, it seemed that Canada didn't care at all about sports... except hockey, of course...

  • In closing, just a reminder that since I'm moving on Boxing Day, only my cell phone number will be working for the time being. Merry Christmas & a la prochaine!

Getting more comfortable...

• Merry Christmas Everyone!

  I hope this posting finds you amidst much snow and Christmas carols...

  Although I am still having trouble believing it never snows in Korea (it has snowed three times since I've been here, and that- as far as I can see- is three times more than never)- I have to admit that it looks as though it will be a brown Christmas for us. Don't worry- it's still cold... well, -5, maybe not that cold. It's been strange to hear familiar Christmas carols sung with Korean lyrics- and an even stranger experience with the drunken Santa Claus we took the kids to see. Alright maybe not drunk- but I'm sure Santa was hung over sincehe refused to take off his sunglasses- and he was no healthy North American Santa Claus, let me tell you. Poor Santa was so skinny all the kids said they would have to leave him milk and cookies as he's lost too much weight since last year...

  For Christmas, what am I doing? Well, to begin with I will be having a big Christmas dinner with some Canadian friends of mine, so fear not- I will not be alone- although this year it seems strangely appealing. The most exciting part of my Christmas vacation will be my move to a new apartment. Some of you sensed a bit of frustration in my emails- and I was trying not to give into it- but alas, I have been really cranky. The apartment I have lived in since I arrived is not one that I entered with a sigh of relief. I tentatively looked around and decided it would do- it was nothing fancy, but it wouldn't be the end of the world. And then I started to see cockroaches, and I thought- that's gross, but maybe it's normal here. So I checked with my Korean contacts at work and discovered that no, it was not normal and they all looked very disgusted and taken back. And then people who had seen the apartment before I moved started to look at me with pity in their eyes, asking how I was faring in the apartment... And then I saw the apartment that the couple lives in- and it was like night and day. Their apartment was big, fully furnished- new and clean. Mine was sparcely furnished, old and dirty. Holes in the walls are plugged with paper- which may explain how I still have moths in December. And I was mad, but didn't know how to raise the issue with my boss without sounding like a princess. Then my hot water stopped working, so I've been showering at the gym for over a month now. At any rate, two weeks into this apartment experience, I asked for a new apartment... and my boss didn't miss a beat. He said yes, of course and went about looking for a new one. Having said that, he would not have found one for me yet had I not insisted that I would not spend my Christmas vacation in my current apartment. So I'm appropriately moving on boxing day. The new apartment is ridiculous- I don't really understand- it's a 5 1/2 (two bedrooms for Calgarians) with a huge wrap around balcony and looks very new. I don't really understand since I barely have enough furniture in my current apartment, but here we are moving to a bigger place for little old me. That alright- I'm a big fan of big, empty spaces. So, that's the highlight of my Christmas- I suppose it pays to play the princess- next up on my list of demands- an air conditioner. In conclusion I apologize if I have sounded frustrated and cranky- all I've wanted is a hot shower in my very own bathroom...

  What's new in Korea this week? Well, I've discovered that Christmas is not celebrated here the same way at all... it seems it's the exact opposite of Canada. Koreans don't spend Christmas with their families at home around a big dinner, they go out with friends to the movies and to restaurants. So apparently I don't have to worry about nothing being open. Malls in the big shopping districts stay open for Christmas as well- and apparently many people do attend midnight mass. Christmas is also a lot less commercial here, which is refreshing. It struck me the other day how much we take for granted in Canada- how much of our own culture we don't appreciate. As I sat with the other Canadian teachers watching the kids playing on our fieldtrip the other day- all the kids from the other schools would stop and stare at us. The three of us and a tall black teacher from another school seemed to be the highlight of their fieldtrip. And it made me wonder, do we really appreciate our diversity as Canadians? When I think of the looks of curiosity, of terror and of excitement that I've gotten over the last two months- do we ever consider how unique it is that anyone can step into a big Canadian city and look Canadian? Another thing that sets Canada apart- which is slipping and we need to hold onto- are the social assistance programs. In Korea, they are non-existant. If you are old, sick or disabled, your family is expected to care for you- and if they don't, you take to begging on the subway or on the street. I started crying on the subway last week as I watched a young blind man having difficulty making it down the aisle on the subway, as his feet were turned inwards- begging, and sure to bow to each person who put change in his hat. It was so sad. You see these elderly women- and I mean pushing 85-90, still working- selling vegetables in the market and walking at a 90 degree angle... These extremes are rarely seen in Canada, but here they are the norm- I hope that in light of all our government saving, money hungry ventures, we don't lose sight of the fact that this can become a reality in Canada overnight.... what would happen if our friend Ralph Klein ran the country? Hmmm, I think I have an idea... On a happier note- I was getting off the subway the other day and there was a man playing the sax to a huge group of Koreans gathered around him. People had pulled up chairs and were intently listening. As I walked by, I realized that I had not seen any musicians in the subway until now. And it struck me that this is another of those things that is common in Canada (or at least in Montreal), but people rarely stop to listen. We are in much too big of a hurry to get home- and the sax player will be there tomorrow, after all. As I become more and more comfortable and friendly with the girls at work, I am learning more about the Canadian image from outside the country. And it's interesting- although sometimes, a little depressing. One teacher asked me this week if Canadians liked sports. I was a little weirded out, and told her that Canadians loved hockey. She answered that from our showings in the Olympics and at World Cup Events, it seemed that Canada didn't care at all about sports... except hockey, of course...

  In closing, just a reminder that since I'm moving on Boxing Day, only my cell phone number will be working for the time being. Merry Christmas & a la prochaine!

Me vs. The Monkey

That's right- can you think of one thing more interesting than a 3000 year old monkey? Stuck? ME!!! Yesterday I found myself at the National Museum of Korea - an absolutely monstous building that dwarfs anything I've ever seen in Canada... although I suppose they have the history to support it. I saw half of the first floor and that took me two and a half hours. In any case, as I stood in front of the monkey in question- trying to adjust some fancy feature on my camera, I looked up to find that I was entirely surrounded by an elementary class on a field trip. The thirty odd students refused to look at the damn monkey that their guide seemed so passionate about, as they were too engrossed with the blond monkey operating the digital camera. I have never experienced anything stranger in my life. There were literally thirty pairs of eyes staring right me with that look of "What are you?" that I have so learned to love. I finally said hi, and tried to make my way from the center of the circle when I was bombarded with questions of Who are you? What is your name? Where are you from? Needless to say, I was once again throughly annoyed with the parents/teachers that continue to allow me to be treated like... well, a monkey- although I suppose in this came that's a bad example, since the monkey got precious little attention.

I believe in covered, in part, the Korean obsession with image. However, I don' t know that I covered the full extent of this obsession. Here we go. When I learned about Japan in Mr Sabraw's grade 8 Social Studies class, I decided that I never wanted to visit Japan because they went to school until 9pm, six days a week... and they didn't even get their summers off. These are the sorts of details that really matter to 13 year olds when deciding on international trips. Well, I also remember learning that the Japanese culture (and in turn the Chinese and Korean cultures, since they so influence one another) was based very much on hierarchy and social status. The strength of a person determined by their strength of character, physical strength, of spirituality and their intelligence. Ring any bells? Well, let's face it. These qualities, unfortunately have become harder and harder to measure, and have come to mean progressively less, not only in Asia, but all over the world. When the whole world is questioning it's spirituality, how can we measure an individual's worth based on how strong theirs is? But I digress. Image has always been important here- but times have changed. Now we show our worth based on the way we present ourselves. What better way to prove that you have strong character, determination, intelligence and a strong work ethic than proving to the world that you have enough money to waste on a 1000$ purse? Everywhere I look, Louis Vitton purses, Prada backpacks, MCM handbags,Von Dutch baseball caps, Bvulgari gloves and shoes. These are not accessories to most Koreans, but necessities. Some of the girls I work with claim to have a collection of up to 50 designer purses- few of which have ever seen the light of day. How do they afford such extravagances? Koreans live at home until they're married. Proof can be seen in tea rooms, kareoke bars and movie theatres that offer 'private rooms'- where of course, shy Koreans would have you believe that nothing more than hand holding ever occurs. In any case, parents are expected to pay for their children's education. Student loans are almost unheard of as it is seen as a disgrace that the parents did not support their children through school- regardless of the cost. And in return, the Korean university student gets a part time job while in University to pay for their designer handbags. An enviable position to most Canadian university students... Even more shocking is the fact that even once children reach adulthood, Korean mothers continue to baby their children until they leave the home. The girls I work with are only slightly embarrased to say that their mothers still cook all their meals, do their laundry and even clean their rooms-- at the age of 27. And so it will remain until they leave home and marry, where they will be expected to do the same for their children, and eventually for their parents as well. On top of all the designer clothes and accesories, Seoul also happens to be one of the biggest places for plastic surgery in the world. Koreans have come to believe that the Hollywood norm is what they should strive for- and the new thing is having an extra crease added to your eye lid to make your eyes appear more round. Or to have your nose redone so it's not the Asian 'button nose' but the 'smaller' American nose. And even creepier yet- to have your face redone to give you a whiter skin tone. There is even a cosmetics company called "La Neige" that makes white face powder, and this is also widely used.

For a country so advanced in so many ways- the gender differences continue to shock me. As I've said, the women wear skirts and high heels everywhere- regardless of the occasion and with little regard for the weather. Women smoking in public (and I have still only seen two) can be expected to be yelled at or even spit on. It's a bit like a time warp. Women still wear broches and leaving the house without make- up in unthinkable. Short skirts have recently become acceptable- and they are everywhere- but revealing the stomach or any part of the back, even by accident, is still taboo. Many Koreans spend a year abroad during or after university- usually in the US or in Canada, to improve their English. And many come back shocked and depressed when realizing that these differences don't exist everywhere. Even at the gym, I am the only woman who will run on the treadmill- the others don't seem to want to break a sweat in front of the men. As I've said, in the home, it is their responsibility to maintain the house and care for the children, it is not a shared responsibility. A big pizza chain here, Mr Pizza (which is pronounced Pijja) has "made for women" printed right on their pizza boxes- and it must have taken me a good ten minutes to figure out what they meant. If you order pizza, the woman doesn't have to cook. In any case, the men have their own set of problems. They are still seen as the bread winners, and as such, are expected to cater to their girlfriends. The response I get at work if I say I need or want to buy something is always the same "Why don't you ask your boyfriend?". I'm not sure, but I think Fred would tell me where to go if I had these expectations of him.... Finally- Korean thoughts on homosexuality? Not wrong because it's immoral or anything like that- just wrong because who would do the cleaning?

Stop Looking At Me!! I Am Not A Monkey!

Alright- this is ridiculous now. I feel like I'm in a damn zoo (or joo, as my kid's call it, they can't say z yet). I know I'm white and blond and blue eyed and stand out a little here, but for god sakes, there's enough white people it shouldn't be THAT weird. I went to Costco grocery shopping last week and was so frustrated by the time I left, it was unbelievable. It took me so long to shop because people kept stopping and staring. Children were pointing- and when I looked to their parents to explain to the child it's rude to point- or to tell them it's okay to wave back to me, well- I discovered the root of the problem. The parents themselves are pointing and staring at me. To make matters worse, we're at Costco, so I've got this enormous carts and can't manipulate the damn thing around all the staring, pointing parents. For some reason they are also very interested in what white people eat and kept blocking my way and staring into my cart. Maybe it's because I'm from Canada, and we're pretty diverse. I just don't understand it. In any event, any future grocery shopping will be done with sunglasses and baseball cap.

• Alright, that said- I suppose I should talk about my job since many people are asking. I didn't understand why friends of mine who taught English never talked about their jobs. Now I know- there's not a whole lot to say... It is by far the best job I've ever had- it pays well, time flies by, the kids are great and I actually feel like they're learning something. A far cry from my Montreal profession as 'waitress', the job is fulfilling. I teach eleven classes of kids- ranging in age from four to fifteen and I have no more than eight kids in any class. So the actual teaching varies alot. My four year olds didn't speak a word of English when I got here, and in fact, didn't understand that I didn't speak Korean. They thought I was being difficult by not responding when they talked to me. Now, a month and a half later- they're starting to talk a bit. They know Please and Thank You and Help Me. One of them told me to "Hold on a minute," the other day and I almost died. I hadn't heard a full sentence out of any of them before that. With that class, I read them the same story every day for a month. Eventually they start to understand and repeat some parts of it back to me and my head just wants to explode from reading Who Says Woof? twenty times in a month... My five year olds are the smartest kids I've ever met. They blow me away. It's amazing how much difference a year makes at that age. They all speak near perfect English and only have a slight accent. Although they do still say joo, instead of zoo... which is pretty funny. With that class, I whip through three books in a month and spend most of my forty minute classes trying to waste time cause they finish everything so fast. I have to admit that their my favorites, and of course being me, I find the girls too princessy (which they are) and the boys hilarious. I'm trying to curb my favoritism, but it's hard. Ryan (the cutest/smartest/hardest to handle) asked me the other day if I made my spaghetti in Canada. I explained to him- again- that I don't go back to Canada every night, I stay in Korea. And he looked at me and asked why I told him when I came that I 'live' in Canada, and not 'lived'... damn five years olds and their attention to grammar... As I mentioned before, I also teach them science class, origami (which is always interesting), arts and craft and gym. Origami usually means that I make eight butterflies, stars, baskets or what have you and pass them out and the kids get excited that 'they' made it. They love science class, but think that it's magic and refuse to listen when I try to explain why the experiment works. It's like telling a five year old there's no Santa Claus, they just won't believe it. And despite my best efforts, gym class with the four year olds is a gong show and I've given up teaching them. I give them a ball and let them go at it. So that's my day from 9am to 3pm. Then the afternoon kids come storming in and that's just completely different. They're mostly older and come either Monday/Wednesday/Friday or Tuesday/Thursday... and of course, with 3 hours of English a week and attending nine or ten other schools, they retain as much English as many Canadians do French. And this is where my problem classes lie. Because it's an (expensive) private school, parents want the sun, the moon and the stars. They wonder why little Billy can read and write English but can't speak. Well, because he doesn't talk in class, he just reads out loud and then class is done. My boss was very excited when I started and asked me to do role play with the kids to improve their spoken English, but said he still wanted me to get through the books in the normal time or parents would be mad. So, I don't do role play 'cause the last five minutes of class just isn't cutting it and there's no point. Classes mostly involved reading a short story and answering some simple questions about it. I recently discovered, however, that many of these kids are not even here to learn. They are there because it is fashionable to say that your children attend English school. Difficult to believe, but true. English school rates up there with Prada sunglasses, Louis Vitton purses and Burberry scarves in Korea. This also explains the non-sensical English we find everywhere. My deer-in-the-headlights kid, Paul has a pencil case (made by one of the largest Korean companies- in fact, made by the makers of Peppero) - that says "All I want to do is making love to you." I can only assume they meant something different...

  My boss is not the sharpest knife in the drawer, and being an accountant... well, he's a little cheap. So things that make sense to the average person, such as turning the heat on when it gets below freezing- just don't occur to him. So, he spends the week chatting up parents at the school, trying to convince them that this is the best school for their child for the next school year, as teachers and students pass by the office wearing their winter jackets and huge furry slippers... Personally, if I were paying 600$ a month for my kid's kindergarten, I would be mad if the school tried to cheap out on heat. But maybe that's just me.

  All that said, it is a good job- sometimes frustrating, but in the end, I get paid regardless of why the kids are there, so it's not my problem. If anyone's thinking of teaching in Korea, let me know and I'll tell you what to watch out for. I've learned a lot about the way things work here over the last couple months, and would have negociated some things in my contract differently if I had known better. Basically, you just need to remember that they're desperate for teachers here, so you can pick and choose and play them against each other. Hope this helps, for anyone who's thinking about it...

  In closing, I have just received word from my computer-smart friend, Dave, that in fact you can reach my photos directly without signing into to flickr - so- the link is http://www.flickr.com/photos/14265677@N00/ . Sorry for any confusion- I am none too good with computers... Secondly, to those of you who have already accused me of only posting boring pictures, well I'm sorry muffin- I thought for a second that culture and history could be interesting- but I guess they're not. Just kidding. For my next posting, I promise to include funny English mistakes and pictures of all things Samsung.

Ahhh!!!

Alright- first of all, for those of you have fuzzy/poor memories of me, let me introduce myself. You may remember me as the girl certain to get carded in Montreal, of all places. And to insure that the rest of the group would also be carded. I am the one who was laughed at in a Calgary liquor store for even trying to buy beer-- at the age of 21. I am the one who served a table of Mexicans, who casually inquired about child labor laws in Canada. I am the one who, two weeks before making the big move to Korea, had co-workers asking if I were old enough to be working. Remember now? Okay then. Yesterday, for the first time in my life- I had someone honestly refer to me as old. Granted it was a six year old, but that is entirely beside the point. Me? Old? Could it be? It has taken me four months to get used to saying I am 25- but now that I have arrived in Korea, they tell me I'm 26. Just like that- in twelve hours, I lost a year of my life. To make matters worse, I have been informed that I have another birthday coming up on Lunar New Year. This is terrible!! I had only just come to grips with being 25, and soon I will turn 27? This may sound ridiculous to many of you, but let's face it- in all of our heads, there is a big difference between 25 and 27. 25 is comfortably mid-20's. 27 is late 20's headed into 30's. I'm not mature enough to be headed into my 30's!! A man on the subway the other day asked me why I would leave my country when I was of 'marrying age'- and I quickly informed him that in Canada we marry far later in life- perhaps a lie, as I silently listed my friends already there or well on their way, but there was no way I was going to admit to being of 'that age'. In any case, with all this in my head- I headed for the gym after work (I know what you're all thinking- how much money will I spend in my life on gym passes and never actually use them? This time is different, I swear.) and as I stretched, it occured to me that I had not done the splits since I was 18- and that had been 7 years (or 9 by Korean standards). And I tried, and I failed. In any case, all these thoughts were swirling in my head as I headed home. I stopped in quickly at Missha (Korean Body Shop), made my purchases that I hoped would make me feel youthfully 25... but my plan failed as I headed for the door and the saleswoman passed me a free sample of anti-wrinkle cream. You can just imagine what a case I was last night.

Ah yes, and another thing about being old and white in Korea. First, the kids had a fascination with the food I eat at lunch. They made fun of me- "Everyday teacher, sandwich! Everyday teacher, sushi! Everyday, everyday!" Then, it was my eyes- "Why round, teacher? Why blue, teacher?" Then, my hair. Now their attention has not so politely narrowed in on my breasts. I can't say I wasn't warned about this, I just never thought it would happen to me. I had two kids try to stick their hands down my shirt yesterday and another one, just grabbed them and asked why I was big on top, but not on the bottom. How do you explain that?

Anyway, enough ranting- and moving quickly along... A realization suddenly hit me of the strangeness of the cultural differences between Canada and Korea. I continue to be amazed that after a month and a half in this country, I have yet to see any vandalism. No graffiti, no broken windows, no scratched windows on the subway. No Toby + Jessica = 4ever love. Nothing. The city, in many ways is immaculately clean, especially when you take into consideration there are over 10 million people here. This I'm sure comes down to respect. Koreans are a very respectful people. I dropped the photo album from my wallet in the bank two weeks ago- packed with pictures of family and friends- I didn't even realize it, went for lunch, and as I was about to walk into the school, a man handed me my photo album. He had been waiting outside the bank to give it back to me. This, we can all be perfectly sure, would never happen in Canada. The area outside the school is packed with bicycles from kids going to various schools in the building- none of them are locked up, and yet they are all there when the kids leave class to go home. It makes me laugh everytime, as I picture myself removing my tire and my seat to have a cup of coffee ten feet from where my bike is locked. On the other end of this however, is the passive politeness of Canadians in most situations. I have learned quickly that it's all about being aggressive in public. If you stand too far back in the line for the ATM, you'll be waiting all day, as people will push you aside and storm past you. If you let an old lady in front of you in the line for the subway, everyone else will follow just as quickly- and you'll be left standing there as the subway pulls away. And don't expect an apology if someone bumps into you on the street- even if they nearly knock you over. And this will happen even if you are the only one on the sidewalk.

In any event, this brings this week's rant to an end. I should probably clarify, in closing - since I realised I never explained, that Kimchee is the official food of Korea. Koreans have been eating it for thousands of years. It is traditionally cabbage fermented in a red pepper paste- and it is eaten with every meal- including breakfast. It is incredibly spicy- and smelly. And at some point- some very vengeful English teacher put some in the fridge of my apartment, and it is impossible to remove the smell. This is one of many reasons that I dream of Kimchee.

Kimchee. Smelly and hot. There are festivals dedicated to kimchee, and scientific studies conducted to prove that kimchee is a superior food. Koreans believe that kimchee is the reason SARS never hit here... but they choose to ignore the high instances of stomach cancer.

And lastly, yes I did promise pictures- and I even figured out how to get them on this computer- unfortunately all the prompts to put them into this blog are in Korean and I don't know how to do it... so hopefully there will soon be pictures...